MONOGAMISH

Monogamish is a funny-sounding word, and for many people a funny thing to be, or think of being. Funny as in strange, not as in haha. Many people look at the world and try to paint it as black or white. They live in an either-or-type universe. That makes it so they can understand being monogamous, and they can understand being nonmonogamous, but the in-between realms are hidden from them. That makes the idea of being monogamish completely foreign to their ways of thinking.

Maybe you yourself don’t get it.
To be monogamish is to be monogamous, but that monogamy is not focused on the physical, but rather the true being inside, and how they exist together. A monogamish couple are exclusively emotionally committed to each other. They are not sharing their lives outside of their committed bond except in various physical ways which have been mutually agreed on. This differs from polyamory, where having multiple romantic partners is common.
Some monogamish couples are in sexually open relationships with no rules about the sex. Others have very specific rules, and the sexual relationships that involve others may only be considered all right in certain circumstances. Many swingers are monogamish. They may have sex with others, but have nothing to do with those sexual partners outside of the sexual dalliances they have.
Other swingers however may seek out long-lasting close friends to have as their extra sexual partners outside of their primary relationship. They too are monogamish, but verge on being more in the polyamory camp where bonds and emotions are par for the course. Polyamory allows for romantic and emotional connections. It is more than just sex.
Vanilla couples espouse the idea that monogamy of the physical sort is the only way to go. They don’t allow for their partner to have any sort of sexual rendezvous with others.
For all the in-between, there is monogamish.
The in-between place is big. It covers people who are in committed relationships that are sexually free completely, and it covers people in committed relationships that only under the very strictest of guidelines will have non-penetrative encounters of very mild sorts. For example, there are men who enjoy subservience and being in slave-like positions to their wives. Those wives may have a female friend over and order the man to massage both their feet. Afterward, as a reward, the man told to masturbate.
This type of situation is a very controlled form of play that allows for a very mild sexual encounter with another outside of the primary relationship. They may include others in no other way at all. Still, this isn’t traditional monogamy, nor is it an open relationship or polyamory. It isn’t true nonmonogamy as people think of it. It is monogamish.
Take that same basic scenario and have it changed so that the wife has her husband completely service her friend sexually and it is still monogamish. He may perform oral sex and penetrative sex, but it is within the guidelines and rules set forth in his primary relationship. His primary relationship is his only relationship in truth because he is emotionally monogamous with his wife.
The wife’s friend could be someone he has never met before, or she could be a person who comes over every Tuesday for servicing. She isn’t part of the relationship.

Stag and Vixen relationships are monogamish most of the time. There are instances where couples have a Stag and Vixen Dynamic happening, but also have extremely close and special long-term friends who are sex partners. Sometimes this pushes things outside of that monogamish place, but the couple somehow holds their vixen and stag dynamic in place.

The usual for Stags and Vixens however is they keep the sexual encounters as just that, sexual encounters and nothing else. Obviously, socializing is involved, flirting, etc., and even light friendships in many cases, but for the most part, it is just about the sex. Everything else about their relationship would fall into the realm of what a normal monogamous relationship is supposed to look like.

Hotwives are not all in Stag and Vixen-type relationships. Vixens are a type of hotwife, but not every hotwife is a Vixen. They are not all married to Stags either. If we travel away from the Stag and Vixen dynamic to the extreme other end of the spectrum of hotwifing we find hotwives that cage, demean, and deny their cuckold husbands of any sexual gratification. They also will often date other men and have very emotional and long-term relationships with them. Their relationship with their husband is not even considered a primary relationship in some instances. They are not monogamish at all.

Everyone has their own thing, and that is good. That is also why we need the term monogamish.

Dan Savage is credited for coining the term. I am a native of the state he lived in when he wrote the word monogamish in his Savage Love column describing his own relationship many years ago. Great that he spread the term, but I’d heard it many times before that. He just brought it up into the mainstream world for the hetero monogamist vanilla folk to learn about. He was not a swinger, or married to a hotwife, he was, and is as far as I know a a gay male, married to a male, and not ever really part of any big kink scene, but lived in a fashion that put him in the midst of people who’s lives were a bit risque compared to the average American. I haven’t followed him in years, but he is still going strong, and he is both funny and sarcastic. Two things I like. I even once saw an odd play he rewrote and directed. You can visit his website HERE if you’d like to check him out.

So, are you monogamous, nonmonogamous, or monogamish? Is one way better than another? For me monogamish is the way, but maybe not for you.

This monogamish design which features the word in a way that makes it so some have a hard time making it out at first can be had as a T-shirt, or on a hat HERE – Monogamish Design Vixen Games.

You can also get it as an all-over print mini skirt for your sexy hotwife self to wear if going out HERE – Monogamish design Mini Skirt. It is fun because at first look it is just an interesting design, but on close inspection, it can be read.

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