Most people who engage in hotwifing of any sort try very hard to keep it a secret.
They do this for many reasons, which include the basic reason of the “it’s none of your business what I do in my personal life” sentiment.
The biggest reason though is how hotwifing is perceived by vanillas and a fear of repercussions.
Hotwife acceptance in modern culture isn’t what it should be considering how many other kinks are looked at more favorably or even considered normal in our culture when they were considered outlandish and wrong just a few decades ago.
On the other hand, it could be said that hotwifing and swinging which is also looked at with a bit of a stink eye by the proponents of pure serial monogamy has made a lot of headway in the realm of acceptance.
For the bit of acceptance it has gained, I give most of the credit to the outspoken polyamory advocates. They, unlike most others who practice various forms of consensual non-monogamy, have a lot of out, loud, and proud speakers shouting to the masses that they are here and not to be messed with.
They’ve become so loud that they’ve become a sort of unorganized voting block in the USA and Canada.
When a group shows its numbers politicians step lightly and the masses hush up.
All you need to do to see that is look at how things have changed for gays and lesbians in America since the time of Harvey Milk. In Harvey’s time, gay men had a lot to fear if out. Most men remained closeted because they feared a myriad of repercussions.
In today’s culture that isn’t so.
I’m not speaking about the LGBTQIA+ stuff here. That is a completely different cultural war with almost no connection to what gay men and women dealt with and accomplished via being outspoken. Heck, at this point the LGBTQIA+ internet community which focuses on perceived oppression and perceived privileges considers most gay men to be in the privileged class unless they can claim other labels which are desirable to the LGBTQIA+ groups in relation to being some sort of oppressed minority.
The polyamory activists have used the current political and social situation in America to their benefit. They have lumped the swingers’ lifestyle into their advocacy in a small way by including it in their consensual nonmonogamy umbrella. At the same time a majority of the loudest polyamory advocates work hard to separate themselves from swingers in a way that says “We are better than them,” maintaining that their way is an orientation and about love and feelings while swinging is about the physical.
They still advocate for acceptance of all types of nonmonogamy and monogamish lifestyle choices though. Our numbers count.
People outside of our swinging and hotwifing world understanding what is going on would help too.
Most purely vanilla people don’t understand swinging. Most swingers don’t understand hotwifing. Explaining the difference between a cuckold, a stag, a man in an open relationship with his wife, and a man who is married and swinging, but also allows for MFM threesomes is a hard task sometimes. To a purely vanilla guy who would never entertain any sort of consensual nonmonogamy all the men in those relationships are cucks. To them, cuckolds are the worst thing a man could be.
Psychologists and politicians don’t know the difference either unless with a few exceptions.
It is time we work towards Hotwife acceptance in modern culture. This doesn’t mean you need to be out, but you can still speak up and advocate for that acceptance.
Many of us are in positions where being outed won’t hurt us a bit besides a few possibly uncomfortable conversations, but some of us are in situations where being outed could harm us greatly.
Look at the case of Jerry Falwell, Jr. when he resigned from Liberty University, not due to controversial decisions or social dissent issues, but because of his involvement in what people labeled as cuckolding. Despite previous controversies, it was being outed as a man who enjoyed watching his wife with other men that brought him down and led to his resignation. Simply because he derived pleasure from watching his partner engage in sexual activity with another person. He did this both in person and via remote cameras set up to watch her. Everything was consensual but kept secret. From society’s viewpoint, he was breaking one of the big sexual taboos.
Here is an article on it written by Robert Weiss Ph.D., LCSW, CSAT in Psychology Today from 2020 which is not negative towards the concept of hotwifing or cuckolding, but shows how he was immediately branded a cuckold and had to resign from his position. Why People Find Cuckolding So Shocking and Offensive – A form of BDSM, but not necessarily adultery.
Most of us aren’t in a position like Falwell or under such scrutiny. Getting outed for hotwifing games when you are an evangelical Liberty University president, conservative lawyer, and son of the famous right-wing conservative Christian leader Jerry Falwell Sr. is probably the worst-case scenario.
Rich, famous, and carrying a legacy the press and talking heads went wild filling in pieces to the story that was a complete fantasy. There was even a documentary-type movie made and surprise… the writers didn’t talk to either one of them.
Their story was not a big help to Hotwife acceptance in modern culture.
There are (as I mentioned before) many cases where being out about your lifestyle is not exactly safe.
There are many cases where it wouldn’t cause you a bit of harm. Most will fall in the middle. Hotwife acceptance in modern culture is low, but becoming better. Most think of it as a sort of swinging, which it is pretty often. thirty years ago being outed as a swinger was pretty bad for most. Now a good half of the people out there will respond with “Oh, ok.” Then they will have a few opinion and maybe a few questions, and then leave you alone about it.
It’s like finding out a person has a bunch of tattoos, but they are always hidden by clothing. You will usually get a response like “Oh, that’s not what I expected, but wow, and can I ask you about them?” Or maybe something similar with an ending like “not for me, but cool.”
We are however still leery because there will be those judgmental asshats, and we know it. “I’d never get tattooed, it seems stupid, why would you want to scar your body?”
Some people will always be asshats.
Time to work on the Swinger Lifestyle and Hotwife acceptance in modern culture.
You don’t have to be out to do it. You can however help if staying closeted by feigning to be an ally. The allied game is an easy out and a way to make life easier for both yourself and others like you if ever they are outed. Back when the LGBTQIA+ didn’t have so many letters many gay, lesbian, and bisexual people played allies to the cause because they were in situations where they didn’t feel being out was the best scenario for them. It worked.
As always, I have a fitting T-shirt for the topic. Well, almost always… this one is a smiling woman with an umbrella. Ethical/Consensual nonmonogamy umbrella. The ENM Umbrella is where we the monogamish fall, and where we should be supporting each other even if our various forms of nonmonogamy and monogamish lifestyles don’t exactly groove together. It’s not just a push for Hotwife acceptance in modern culture. It is about acceptance of all forms of consensual and ethical relationships between adults in our culture. It is about people being cool with however you wish to live it it isn’t any of their business. You can get this T-shirt HERE – ENM Umbrella CNM Umbrella All Legit Ally by Vixen-Games. Phone cases and bags too are available. A bag is a handy way to be an ally when shopping.
Will a T-shirt or sticker change the world? Not much, but everything counts. Like when you share articles and news stories that are relevant. Like when you see topics on social media that are relevant and you think to add your two cents. You can easily share an opinion without outing yourself. If you see someone pushing hard against some sort of nonmonogamy maybe respond to it. For example, if they are berating the idea of a triad you could say “I think it’s fine if three people all have a relationship together if they want. Why should anybody not in the relationship care?”
It need not be your brand on nonmonogamy or monogamish behavior. You are bringing awareness to people that other people think such things are just fine.
The point here is to help work for not just swinger and hotwife acceptance in modern culture, but acceptance in general.
Besides the link above which leads to our RB store listing of the ENM Umbrella CNM Umbrella All Legit Ally design, we added this to our Vixen Games Designs Store as a basic and economical medium heavyweight T-shirt. 100% Cotton and priced at just $16.00 The hope is that people will get on the bandwagon of spreading the idea of acceptance and help make non-monogamy and monogamish lifestyle choices seem more normal to those who don’t understand. You can get the shirt HERE -All Legit ENM Umbrella CNM Umbrella T-shirt from Vixen Games Designs.
Want to see more of our Vixen and Stag designs? Need a monogamish T-shirt or hoodie? Check out – Where To Get Our Vixen Hotwife & Stag Shirts and see all the places to find our Vixen games designs.