The No Kissing Rule is something a lot of couples who enter swinging start with. It is also a thing some hotwives start with.
Usually, it doesn’t last long if the couple takes to the swinger lifestyle, and the same goes for hotwifing.
Most swingers will avoid playing with couples who have this rule.
Either they think the couple is new, unsure, and may freak out or have regrets, or they will just say “notta” because the rule is lame and ruins the play.
The new to-swinging couple with a no-kissing rule possibly feeling out things is a legitimate worry.
The rule is almost always based on the idea that kissing is very intimate and they are trying to mentally separate the physical aspects of sex with intimacy for their swinging or hotwifing experimentation.
In most cases having that rule shows they haven’t separated it well enough or figured out that there will often be some intimate moments occasionally appearing in sexual situations whether they are wanted or not.
These couples often aren’t ready.
Freakouts and regrets are a big possibility.
On the other hand, sometimes they are and it is just a precautionary measure which they almost always toss out the window pretty quickly if they keep playing.
Those very rare couples in the swinger lifestyle that have been around a while and have a no-kissing rule usually end up not being very active in the lifestyle because of their rule or sticking to large group play where it isn’t as personal as swapping.
The No Kissing Rule is easier to maintain in a hotwife scenario where the husband is always present and watches. This is especially true if the husband is the primary orchestrator of the activities.
The scenario is sometimes almost scripted. “This is what I would like you to do. These are the rules. Now you can have sex with my wife.”
The men are often fine with this as they don’t care one way or another, and the wife is usually playing within the bounds of the husband’s dictates more for his pleasure than her own.
She is getting something, her husband is getting something, and the man is getting something. All walk away happy.
In a situation where the woman holds more of the cards than the husband in hotwifing this rule is harder to maintain, but the no kissing rule can still work as long as long as the husband is always present and it is a primary rule.
Take away the watching aspect and the rule is a trigger for disaster. Many hotwives go out and play with others while their husband waits. The hotwife will sometimes record or take pictures. She will go back to her husband after the sexual encounter and verbally tell him about it.
In situations like this we are seeing two play times for the hotwife and two for the husband.
The wife has a separate playtime with a man besides her husband and then one with him.
The husband has his waiting time which is filled with fantasy and build-up, and then he has his playtime with her. The separate play times are very separate. The spouse may fill the mind, but the actions do not include the spouse.
Passions will eventually lead to kissing in almost all cases. Once the rule is broken, it is broken and will remain so.
This will cause guilt for the wife. If she admits her rule-breaking it creates a wedge and if she doesn’t it creates a wedge.
Maybe there are exceptions, but I am unaware of them.
My advice if you are going to play in this style is just don’t set yourself up for disaster by starting with the no kissing rule.
So, that was my take on how the no kissing rule pans out in the swinging lifestyle and hotwifing.
Time for some pure opinions and personal thoughts on the no kissing rules.
It’s dumb and you are wasting your time.
I understand that as you start to play with the idea of transitioning from monogamy to nonmonogamy in any form it can be scary.
I get that your anxieties and lack of self-confidence will possibly be jumping up in your mind to make you reach for any semblance of a security blanket you can find.
A no kissing rule isn’t a security blanket. It is only going to hamper you.
If you are afraid it will set off your jealousy to see your partner kiss someone you may be right, but if that kiss will do it, so will many other things. Working your way through them is the way to go.
If you’ve been swinging a long time, or you’ve been actively hotwifing, you may not even be sure of how many people you’ve been with sexually.
If you are just dipping your toes in the water and starting out though you probably know exactly how many.
Guess what?
You’ve kissed a lot more people than you’ve had sex with.
You probably have kissed more than double the amount if you’re semi-normal when it comes to dating and sexual activity in America.
A lot of people who have had less than half a dozen sexual partners don’t even know how many people they have kissed. It isn’t the most intimate thing in the world.
Is it intimate? Is it personal? Yes.
So is rubbing your naked body against someone else’s naked body. It is even more personal when the genitals get involved. As a man, you are putting a part of yourself inside someone. As a woman, you are taking a part of someone inside you.
Do it bareback and it’s much more intimate and personal than with a condom.
Oral?
How silly is it that people would make a rule to not touch lips together, but then at the same time think it’d be fine to put those same lips on someone else’s genitals? Same lips and the same tongue.
To me, this is bizarre thinking. Now you know my opinion and personal thoughts on the no kissing rules when it comes to swinging and hotwifing.
They are just opinions though. Just like an A-hole, we all have an opinion.
Just seems weird that someone can rationalize the idea that they shouldn’t put their lips together, but it’s all fine to put them on someone’s A-hole.
With all that said, you do you. I’m big into people starting slow in hotwifing. Here is a post about Starting Slow With Hotwife Games to give you an idea. I’m also into having rules. Here is a post showing how we came up with our original set of rules. Hotwifing Rules.
If a no-kissing rule is what you believe you need and or want go with it.
Make it a rule and then stick to it as long as it is in place.
Because I am funny I made this extra flirty design just because of this topic.
Since I like extra fun and flirty shirts for my Vixen I put this on a high quality super soft and flowy tank top which you can get HERE – Kissing Booth Flowy Tank Top.
I was thinking casual and summer. The design kinda invites offers of kisses. If you look closely you will note an upside-down pineapple included in the image and there is a golden anklet on the gal. Who knows what that signifies? The seemingly innocent design has hidden iconography it seems.
The tank top is the only offering from our own store with this design.
I did add it to our RB Collection of Hotwife Stag, and Vixen designs though. You can check it out HERE – Kissing Booth by Vixen-Games. T-shirts, hoodies, phone cases, stickers, hats, and more are available with this Kissing Booth design.