If you are a new Vixen Hotwife or a new Stag it may seem a little crazy to be talking about spicing up your Vixen Games because almost every encounter is a case of fast heartbeats, new adventures, and leaves you with a wash of emotions.
The thing is, no matter what you are doing it will slowly lose a bit of its sizzle if it is repetitive and easily attainable.
This is especially true in the case of women.
There has been a ton of research into libido and sexual activity between couples.
Some of the things that affect a woman’s desire for sex negatively can seem a bit backward.
One of those things is a feeling of security. Feelings of security tend to increase sexual desire for a time in women, but over the years that security causes a decrease.
The plus side to this particular problem is that those feelings of security in long-term relationships also open up the door for sexual exploration.
Another odd one that is closely related is a feeling of comfort. If you ask most women “Would you rather be comfortable in your relationship, or secure in it?” They will have a hard time choosing.
Both are very important, and both increase feelings of love and desire at first. Over many years they usually decrease desire.
It adds to boredom, and boredom will make sex become something not high on the to-do list.
A couple goes from having sex four or five times a week for the first few years to two or three, then maybe once or twice. Bills, work, kids, etc. may seem to get in the way. Priorities change, but it isn’t those things that do it. A twenty-minute sex session will happen if you are both feeling desire even with all of life’s commitments and a scarcity of free time..
This scenario sometimes is what leads to swinging or hotwifing.
The couple wants to spice things up. They start experimenting with different toys, and different places and start talking about different scenarios.
If both people are wired for swinging or hotwifing to some extent the idea of other sexual partners being thrown into the mix will become a common fantasy.
It increases their desire and gives them better orgasms.
This leads to some of them entering the lifestyle.
Lots of sex, the desire is back, and things aren’t boring.
If they both easily adapt and keep at it usually this results in a better bond between the couple. Both partners will feel closer, know each other better, and feel more secure in the relationship.
The sharing of their experiences and always having each other’s backs makes them more comfortable with each other as well.
Comfort and Security. Throw in repetition of play styles and you are right back to where you started with desire becoming less and those fast heartbeats a thing of the past.
If you are a couple that took up swinging and you go to the club every other weekend and mingle a bit before swapping partners and then going home it will be fun for a while. It will eventually become a normal and mundane part of your routine if you don’t mix it up.
Or maybe your style is finding people on couples’ sites like LifestyleLounge.com and SwingLifeStyle.com and going out for drinks with them to have a vibe check. You like them or you don’t. Then you play or you don’t. How many random drink dates and straight swaps until it feels monotonous?
If you are a Vixen wife and you love the thrill of new partners, your husband watching, and reclaiming you after you are a lucky woman. Your Stag husband will most likely never get tired of watching you and reclaiming you, but if you have the same types of sex in the same types of places over and over again that thrill will dissipate over time. You will become comfortable with the scenario and how it plays out. You feel secure in your husband’s reactions and your relationship dynamic. What once made your heart race will become just a normal activity you do, and maybe even feel expected to do as relationship maintenance.
That is not how you want to feel, nor is it how your Stag wants you to feel.
Most likely you have a few basic scenarios you play out. Every other week a guy at a hotel, or maybe a visit to a swingers club for a swap. You may have some wilder and more kinky games you sometimes partake in like being a backseat passenger with another man while your husband drives you around.
How many times have you played that Vixen Game?
Just like monogamous couples the monogamish can fall into a rut now and then.
It is both of your jobs to regularly spicing up your Vixen Games by adding variety and keeping each other’s hearts betting fast.
Spicing up your Vixen Games isn’t hard, and if you do it from the start you’ll never get bored because you never give it a chance to happen. Variety is the spice of life some say. I think 90% or more of swingers say that one.
First of all, you should never forget to play Subtle Vixen Games. They are fun for both of you and keep sparks flying.
Secondly, just keep it always changing.
Unlike vanilla couples, you have a ton of options. It isn’t just a short list of adding objects like toys or food to your bedroom play and maybe changing up positions once in a great while. You have those options too obviously, but you have a hundred times as many because of your lifestyle compared to a vanilla couple who prescribe to pure monogamy.
Use them!
If you are a Stag and Vixen couple that has been playing a long time and have slowly fallen into that lack of interest semi-bored zone you too are at an advantage over your vanilla lifestyle counterparts.
Better if you’d never let the repetitive boredoms set in, but you can quickly fix it.
When I say quickly I mean it too.
Spicing up your Vixen Games is as easy as one two three, and it will make everything in your daily relationships more exciting and fun just like it probably did when you first started playing.
Spicing up your Vixen Games in three easy steps:
- Stop playing in the style you normally have for a while.
This is important. It will make you appreciate the aspects of the play style you’ve been engaging in that you love most, and make you realize what isn’t doing it for you anymore. Give it a few months. Then after that set amount of time reevaluate and get back into the swing of things in a way you can truly enjoy without any of it being based on social or play habits you’ve picked up over time. - Live out those big fantasies and go for the hard-to-do bucket list games.
If you have been a Vixen and Stag couple long enough for monotony to infect your lifestyle I’m sure you’ve picked up some new fantasies and ideas along the way. You may have even lived out your fantasy sex life from before becoming a monogamish couple, but now you can make a new bucket list of sexual shenanigans to tackle. Think about the things that seem hot even if they are a bit scary. Talk them over and make sure you are both comfortable with the ideas and set up brand new ground rules for them that you can both agree on. Consider things you have been interested in, but logistics got in the way. Create a step-by-step plan to make those things happen even if they are a lot of work. Big things and little things as long as they are different, you both agree, can be accomplished safely, and aren’t your norm. - Add the random.
Some people are planners, and some have a more spontaneous personality. The majority of Hotwives I have met and definitely the ones I’d classify as being in a Vixen and Stag relationship have been planners to at least some extent. I’d say this is even more the case with men I’d classify as Stags. Spontaneity on a big level can create the wrong sort of anxiety in such individuals. If you both have spontaneous personalities this one is easier than if one or both of you are planners. Either way, adding the random is important for spicing up your Vixen Games.
You can go about this in many ways, but I’m going to offer up just one idea that works for both types of personalities.
Think of how bingo numbers are called, or how people pull tickets out of a jar when they are doing a raffle.
That is what you are going to do. You can make a list and use numbered balls like a bingo roller or you can get yourself a hundred little slips of paper to write on. You can print them and cut them, you can do whatever works, but have at least a hundred.
On these pieces of paper, or on your list with corresponding numbers you will write Vixen Games you both are into or at the very least both agree to partake in.
You do not need a hundred-plus Vixen Games. You can have just a dozen, or maybe twenty. These should be scenarios that are easy to live out and not cause a financial or time burden beyond what is normally budgeted for your play scenarios.
If you are a spontaneous couple they can be things you could immediately do without much planning. If you are more of a deliberate planner type you can include things that require a few days of planning and you can draw them a week before the date of play.
The slips of paper should be drawn at random. They will tell you what your next adventure should be.
Adding this seemingly simple game is great for spicing up your Vixen Games because it focuses your mind on all of the ideas possible and makes you wonder what will happen. It decreases the possibility of monotony and boredom.
Shirt Time.
It is possible that spicing up your Vixen Games could be as simple as you both wearing our Vixen and Stag T-shirts!
I originally meant that in a joking fashion, but upon thinking about it I realize for many people it could be true. Some of the shirts I make are pretty flirty. Some of our shirts are obvious, and some are only for people in the know.
Our more flirty or obvious designs could certainly add to the spontaneity department.
The more bashful and cautious types may even get a thrill from just wearing a discreet design publicly.
If you are just a random reader of Vixen Games rather than in the lifestyle yourself and wondering what I am talking about when I say bashful while talking about hotwives… Though hotwifing seems to build confidence and self-assuredness, it doesn’t always carry outside of the lifestyle into the rest of a person’s life. Usually, it does, but not always. So, there are many hotwives who in their daily lives live timidly and can be a bit bashful.
As for a T-shirt design to show I’ll give you this cute Vixen, Stag, and Bull Vixen-Games design.
It is cute, I know. You can find it HERE – Cute Vixen Stag and Bull Vixen Games shirt. That will take you to the basic shirt and classic hoodie versions.