Before I get into organizing a hotel key party I’m going to have to tell you that the key parties that are so heavily associated with the swinger’s lifestyle of yesteryear are the stuff of myth rather than true swinger history.
I’d guess they existed in some very small way, but there isn’t any actual proof that they existed until they were brought to the public’s attention in what may have been just a made-up scenario.
Fantasies often lead to reality.
Back in the 60’s a doctor wrote about them when talking about partner swapping. He mentioned them as something that was rare but existed. That simple mention captured the imagination of other writers and the idea spread as an urban myth.
Did they actually exist though?
I am in my fifties and have been a lifelong monogamish type of person.
I got around and hunted out the bizarre when young. It was all about sampling what life had to offer.
I did not consider myself a swinger, but I met many who did back in the nineties.
I attended parties and clubs of that type rarely in my view, but in hindsight, I now realize it was more often than many who considered themselves very much involved in the activity.
I met what I considered old swingers. Those people I considered old were usually in their fifties or sixties.
That is old for a guy in his twenties.
The thing is, none of those people ever mentioned key parties except in saying that swinging didn’t involve key parties when they were talking to new couples or at orientations at clubs. The takeaway from that is that people who had been swinging since the early seventies considered the key party a myth.
You may be wondering why I’d have a piece on organizing a hotel key party if they aren’t real.
As I stated earlier, “fantasies often lead to reality.”
The myth of the swinger’s key party made the key party exist, but unlike how it is portrayed in sitcoms, movies, and stand-up comic punchlines, I’ve never heard of a random free-for-all all key party. I have known of key parties to exist in many varieties. House parties, hotel parties, and even at campouts, and though I wasn’t in attendance I know of one which occurred on a cruise. Not a lifestyle cruise, but a regular cruise.
In every instance, one thing was the same. The attendees were specifically invited and known well by a majority or all of the participants.
Basically cliques that already exist within the lifestyle of people who already all knew each other, had played together, and liked each other were involved.
Though the entire idea of a key party revolves around the lottery system of keys in a bowl, the randomness is actually less than what one would find in a stereotypical swingers club.
The who isn’t known, but it’s already someone who has had or would have the green light given to them.
It’s really the only way to do it and have everyone involved be comfortable and feel good about the event.
So, if you aren’t in the lifestyle and don’t play regularly enough to know enough people to invite who would all know each other already you won’t be able to set up a Hotel Key Party.
This one is for those people who either have a little clique they already play in or who are social swingers and know a lot of people who would also know each other.
The key party shirt shown isn’t just for people who’ve attended a key party. As a matter of fact, I doubt many who see this shirt have or ever well because they simply aren’t the norm. This shirt is for people in the lifestyle, but it was designed just to be fun, funny, a bit suggestive, and a play on the myth because so many vanilla people actually think swingers will just random hookup with absolutely anybody, and thus believe the urban legion of key parties to be a normal thing.
The Key Party Swingers shirt is available HERE – Key Party Swingers Shirt on our website with the design small on the front left chest area and large on the back.
It is also available HERE – Key Party? by Vixen-Games via RB in various styles and on stickers.
The exact version shown in the picture can be found HERE -Key Party Key via Vixen Games Spreadshop.
So, get yourself a shirt, and…
now let’s get on to how to organize your hotel key party.
Organizing a Hotel Key Party is easy as pie if you are in a little clique. You are basically just going to invite that little clique.
If you are not in a little clique but do know all the right people, you can do it, but there is a work to getting the invites set up.
The reason it’s work is because just one person in attendance who is a “NOPE” to even one person could spoil the entire event. Every single guy must be a yep to every single gal, and ever single gal must be a yep to every single guy. They must all be down for separate room play as well, or it will add a lot of work because if not you must book a place that is down with your shenanigans and will allow a party. This usually requires booking an entire section or floor. It is a pain in the bottom. With separate room play being the gig you need not even inform the hotel that you are a group. You are just guests.
How you can insure this is to make a list of possible couples.
Then you must reach out to those couples and ask if they’d be interested in an event, but don’t be specific because you’ll hurt the feelings of those who don’t get an invite to the key party if they later find out about it, which they most surely will.
Then you must make a group. You can do this yourself with various apps or do it online. I’ve seen Discord used for this exact thing, and it worked well, but I detest Discord.
I have also seen it done through private groups on Lifestyle Lounge for various parties of different types.
Once you have your little group together you must make a poll. The poll should be set up so the participants CAN’T see what the specific answers are. You’ll otherwise again be hurting some feelings. The poll should be for women to select the guys they 100% definitely would want to play with and the guys to pick the women they 100% would want to play with.
If apps and polls confuse you to the point this seems impossible, you can straight up have people message you. Women send in a list of guys they’d be down to play with, and men send in the women they’d be down to play with.
Nobody else sees this, but you still claim it is for an invite list you’re working on.
Now take the names you got sent and anybody who isn’t on everyone’s list doesn’t get an invite to your key party.
You’ll later have to set up something for everyone so nobody feels they were left out. If in doubt a swingers ball crawl is the easiest really fun one to organize. If you’re lame and extra lazy go for a simple casino night or other off premise zero work meet-up.
Since you have the list though, if you’re ambitious you can do something cool like a cabin party or something.
Just don’t forget to do something, or they’ll get that they were excluded.
Now that you have your list of couples who are all down to play with each other you need to find a hotel that is centrally located for the play group. You all know each other so it is most likely you all live within a specific area. This should be easy.
You must pick a date far in advance that doesn’t coincide with any larger events in the area such as concerts or sporting events. You will then send out the invites with the stipulation that the couples who wish to attend must book their rooms immediately. Those who do so that week are in, and those who don’t are out. They should send you their confirmation so you can know for sure they did it. That time limit also makes it so that others who may here about the event can’t try to become involved because the event is filled and set up. They can’t be butthurt over not being able to join if it is a done deal.
Your key party itself is extra simple.
The couples arrive and check-in.
The couples get freshened up and dressed.
The couples meet up at the hotel bar at a set time where they have whatever food and drinks they wish on their own dime. (this should be an early time like six or seven)
You pull out your little fishbowl at a set time. (Example being eight-thirty)
Drawing Time – Because you are cool you already have keys in the bowl. Hopefully, they are fun little real keys or something of that sort. You wrote the room numbers on them as the women told you when they entered the bar.
The men each reach into the bowl and pull a key.
The room number is announced.
The woman who has that room takes that man by the hand and takes him to her room.
What they do in that room doesn’t matter, but all participants are expected to be back in the hotel bar by a specific time. (Example being 10:30)
People will eventually start returning to the bar, chit chat and fun talk will ensue until people pitter out and return to their rooms in pairs or sometimes groups. Some may stay and close out the bar, and it doesn’t matter because everyone had a great time.
Setting up events like this does take some work, and most people who do these things either charge a fee if they do it regularly or ask for donations.
I’m not saying you should or shouldn’t go that route, but most people do.
Most people in the lifestyle who attend such events are happy to give a donation or small fee.
Most realize it is a lot of work and is also an incentive for the host to continue setting up fun events.
If you decide to charge for your work and time in one of those ways don’t feel guilty about it because without you the experience wouldn’t have existed.
Also if you go with a “fee” I recommend keeping abreast of your local and state laws because you are now acting as a business or at the very least a facilitator.
If you decide to try organizing a hotel key party and were inspired at all by this post we’d love to hear how it went afterwards.
Like our designs? Check out Where To Get Our Vixen Hotwife & Stag Shirts… and obviously swingers lifestyle shirts as well.
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