Stag and Vixen dynamics dictate a semi-equal power structure, but when it comes to the bedroom games the Vixen often holds more cards than the Stag. This is true with almost all forms of hotwifing and swinging.
If your husband is a watcher you get a few more cards to play with than if he isn’t a watcher. Husbands who want to watch their wives have sex with others have a variety of primary motivations, but most have an almost insatiable lust for it no matter what those motivations are.
How bad does your husband want to watch?
That is the key to how much the power dynamics can be sways towards the Vixen when it comes to your hotwife games.
Most people when starting out down the path of adding hotwife adventures into their lives spend a while figuring out their rules, what type of scenarios they like, and how to navigate the hotwife lifestyle in general without a ton of problems arising.
If you are new to hotwifing and want to get an idea of a a way to set some rules and boundaries, you should check out HotWifing Rules where we talk about how we created our first set of rules for our Hotwife adventures.
You may also want to check out Ten Rules For Swingers where we examine someone else’s suggestions and ideas on rules for new swingers.
I do not recommend pushing boundaries or purposely creating scenarios that attempt to alter the natural power dynamics within your relationship if you are new to hotwifing. Keep it simple. Keep it cool. Discuss everything and address any little possible issues at first.
Now, if you have been playing Vixen Games for a while though, and it seems all is fun and a net positive to your relationship… playing with desires can keep the heat up high. That’s where we get back to asking “How bad does your husband want to watch?”
If he loves it just so so much, and it isn’t a couple times a week event for him you have a lot of power in his need to watch. If you are into denial games, into being worshiped, into a bit of dominance, etc. You have a master key here.
The best and simplest way to test how bad he wants to watch is simply to try an either or.
Yes, I’m saying give it the ultimate test. He must choose between watching you have sex with someone or having sex with you himself, but not both.
Don’t spring this on him at the moment it’s about to happen. Give him some forewarning.
Like “I want to do some hotwifing this next weekend, but only if you want to watch.”
If he responds in the positive you can say something like “Good, but I want you focused fully on watching. You must make a choice, and it’s all up to you.”
Now he must choose.
If you play multiple times a week he is visually spoiled and may say “Screw that,” but if you are like most hotwives you don’t play that often and this will be a situation where if he is truly a watcher he will most likely choose to watch. He gets to have sex with you all the time, but watching is a special treat.
If you are interested in how often most Stag and Vixen couples play you may wish to check out Play frequency with Stag and Vixen Couples.
Let’s say he chose to watch.
Play it through. Don’t give in even if he begs and even if you are dying to have him.
The entire point is to create a power point in your favor.
Reclaiming or whatever can happen in the morning.
Make it fun though, and be kind if he seems needy. He will have a multitude of emotions to deal with.
Be loving, and give him no doubts it’s all a game, but it’s a game with a winner, and you are the winner.
If it all plays out well you now know how bad he wants to watch when given the opportunity.
How bad does your husband want to watch? Will he give up other things? Will he do specific things you ask him to do to be able to watch? Will he stay in a chair the entire time? Will he sit on the floor? Will he give you an hour long massage before reclaiming you? Will he … It’s endless.
Play with it, focus on your desires and what seems fun. Don’t forget though that your Stag needs to feel desired and happy with the over game as well though.
Also, it should be noted that this can’t be a regular game unless you both have a lot of tease and denial kinks which can be brought into the situation.
Either or can be a fun thing on occasion, but if it happens to frequently it can quickly become annoying and frustrating for the Stag in a non fun way.
I’m a watcher. My Vixen is big time into tease and denial games. We straight up have to have rules in place to keep her tease and denial games working with my dominant needy vibes so neither of us go to far one way or the other. Games of this sort can increase the hunger you feel for your partner, but that hunger must be sated as well or you just end up with a grumpy starving partner. That’s not fun.
Start slow, go slow, and don’t do it to often if you add this one to your list of Vixen games.
Lastly, if you can’t guess at the answer to the question “How bad does your husband want to watch?” I’d recommend discussing that element of your relationship dynamics long before trying anything like an either or situation with him.
Shirts pitch, because that’s what we do.
Vixen Games Designs is the place to get your Vixen Hotwife and Stag shirts. We have more hotwife shirts than anybody else, and they are AWESOME. – Check out Where To Get Our Vixen Hotwife & Stag Shirts.