Most people into hotwifing try and keep it on the downlow. The same for many other forms of nonmonogamy. Society is filled with judgment and prejudice. Being exposed can cause both social and financial problems depending on the situation, but some people cross lines and either slightly or fully embrace their lifestyle choices without fear, shame, or hiding.
Usually however it is something in-between.
Some share their secret just with close friends, others share with family, and then there is the simple fact that not all secrets can always be kept secret forever.
Some get outed. Vanilla reactions to the Hotwife lifestyle are mixed.
They range from good to bad, indifferent to extremely interested, excited to disgusted. You really don’t know what vanilla reactions to the Hotwife lifestyle you’ll receive until you’re there.
Support and acceptance will come from the least likely suspects sometimes. Condemnation will be the same. People who claim liberal attitudes are very often the most cruel and nasty, while those who society deems as “conservative” are often the most accepting.
Swinging is more accepted and more known, but swingers face the same issues.
On the judgment types topic I can say that as a person who’s traveled a lot and met thousands of people in the swinger lifestyle they run more “conservative” than liberal usually as well. It makes one wonder at who is the more open minded and truly liberal in thinking.
I’m pointing this out simply because as stated above… you’ll often be very surprised as to who is accepting and who is not when it comes to hotwifing.
One thing that is pretty common across the board if it is close friends or family that find out or you decide to tell is that you’ll be met with a bunch of questions from most and depending on their ideas and personality these questions could be for various reasons. Some may just want to know to understand. Some may have a personal interest. Many will wish more info for gossip and to talk about you behind your back. Some may even want it as a sort of ammunition to punish you with because they don’t agree with your chosen life.
Be wary with your answers, and choose your words carefully.
Vanilla reactions to the Hotwife lifestyle will also be painted with preconceived notions about what hotwifing is or isn’t. This is true even if they’ve never heard of it. They’ll latch onto the closest thing they have heard about (usually swinging) and use their already in place information which is likely wrong anyway to make quick judgments.
If they have heard of hotwifing it is often from porn, jokes, or via some lame TikTok crud.
They’ll usually mix it up with domination and submissive games, think the man must be a cuck no matter what you say, and that you (The hotwife) are a cheater.
It’s really a hassle to explain it all to a vanilla. This is especially so because the dynamics of hotwifing are not a one size fits all thing.
Some hotwives are dominant, others submissive. Some like to play solo, others only with their husband. The variances between a Stag and a Cuckhold are vast and change up everything. You also have hotwives who’s husbands aren’t ever physically involved and hotwives who are in relationships where they also swing. Straight or bisexual?
The best and most common of all initial Vanilla reactions to the Hotwife lifestyle is disbelief of being stunned. If you’ve been outed you don’t get to witness it first hand, but when you decide to spill the beans you get to see it.
Once belief sets in it moves to the reactions mentioned above, but almost always it starts this way. They don’t believe, or they are stunned, or they think it a joke.
This part is pretty fun.
I think it fun anyway. Not everyone shares my sense of humor.
So… do I recommend you as a hotwife or as a husband to a hotwife out yourselves?
It depends on your situation, but in general no. If it won’t effect your daily life much, or it will only be a positive sure. The more who are out the better for acceptance. If it’s cause waves or problems don’t do it would be my suggestion.
It will change most peoples views of you both if you do.
Now, if you’re like us you will have another one and a half times you get to experience Vanilla reactions to the Hotwife lifestyle.
That half is in the swingers lifestyle hangouts. You’d think that since swingers practice a form of non monogamy or monogamish behavior they’d be cool, but not all are. You’d get women who are jealous and guys who are thinking it means a hotwife is ready for anyone. Considering that is a common idiot idea many vanillas have about swingers you’d think it wouldn’t be the case, but it is. You will also get people who think all swapping must be 100% even between the couples or it’s wrong. You’ll get guys who think the male partner is a beta boy or he’s 100% surely without a doubt gay. Luckily most of the guys with these types of ideas to be the lower desired guys who use their wives as sex bait so it is rarely a loss for the hotwife.
It is my theory that many pretend the stupidity or hold these thoughts as a form of ego protection. If they are men of low desirability and can’t use their wife as bait for a swap they know they have little chance. A hotwife isn’t playing by the same rules, nor is her husband. A hotwife has more and better options than many swinger wives when it comes to men and women if she enjoys women as well.
That is just my own theory as to why some men in swinging act badly with hotwives.
My Vixen once said it is because they fear their own wives will decide some hotwifing would be fun. That again makes it so the man if less desirable loses a bit of his bait. If his wife can play without him playing and he has low confidence he fears fewer would play with him.
So that was the half, Swinger rather than vanilla reactions to the Hotwife lifestyle, but relevant to the topic.
Here is the other place we deal with vanilla reactions to the Hotwife lifestyle. This one is our big one because we are vanilla hunters and we add vanillas into our Vixen Games.
The stunned and or disbelief thing is usually the first reaction when it comes to inviting vanillas for fun as well no matter how you do it.
We like vanillas. The selection is endless and it allows for fun Vixen Games in ways that meeting guys online or through swinging doesn’t.
Just trying to find and pick up a vanilla guy, guys, or a couple is often a game in itself. Sometimes we even make it into one with specific rules just for the extra fun.
The cartoon image above is a great example of what I am talking about as it shows the Vixen hotwife on a mission. She was bet a dollar she couldn’t pick up two studs and bring them home. Not one, but two. She dresses up and goes out, or maybe she was going to an event already… doesn’t matter. Two not one, and she must bring them home and will put on a show for her husband.
The bravery level and experience level for this one is high folks. Don’t start with this Vixen Game unless the situation just falls in your lap.
As this cartoon was created specifically for this post you can see the men have no clue how to respond. Stunned? Bit of disbelief? Feeling it’s a joke?
My Vixen doesn’t usually go out without me, so in real life I’d be there someplace. That makes the whole thing way easier btw.
Instant confirmation for the men that it’s real. Instant confirmation that it’s good to go.
If you are secure in your lifestyle these sorts of vanilla reactions to the Hotwife lifestyle are amazingly entertaining no matter how they turn out.
Disbelief, and confusion may rule the game at first mention, but it rapidly evolves into either massive interest, excitement, and enthusiasm, or it turns to a simple no way, sometimes anger, and in many cases fear. Rudeness may occur. They may instantly turn into tattle tails. You could even have some feigned aggression. You’ve been warned. Vanilla hunting isn’t for the faint of heart.
I blame the fear one mostly on preconceived notions obtained from adult media. The fear is a fear of performance. I have noted the aggressively rude ones also have fear in their eyes, so I suppose it often is a self soothing thing to help them deal with feeling unfit for the task.
They I am guessing just go home and whack off dreaming they had the self confidence to have went with it.
The guys who are just not down with such shenanigans are almost always polite and and nice.
It has nothing to do with attraction or how hot the hotwife is in most cases when you are turned down. Well, unless you’re targeting out of your game, but usually it is just a simple matter of most people see dating and sex through a lens of serial monogamy. They go from one person to the next and for a time play as if that person is their monogamous partner until one of them decides to move on to another partner or take a break in general. If they see life this way the only acceptable way to stray from the arrangement is to sneak and cheat. That is only partially acceptable obviously as cheating is considered “bad” to a serial monogamist, but not weird. Hotwifing and swinging are weird to them.
With all that said, if it’s a single guy and you as a couple are good at putting people at ease your successes should outweigh your failures.
The men and women who were good at getting with the people they were interested in as singles are usually the ones good at getting who they want as a couple.
Confidence and good conversational skills are the key.
Don’t forget to check out Where To Get Our Vixen Hotwife & Stag Shirts.