Leaving all seriousness behind for a moment and sharing some stag and vixen funny limericks.
To get an idea of why these exist you need to imagine a couple who share a Stag and Vixen lifestyle dynamic.
Imagine that they are very sexual, and love to play, but they are also goofy as can be sometimes. *cough*
Now imagine a morning when this Stag and Vixen couple are freshly woken up and in jolly spirits from an eventful night that had just occurred.
They are sipping on coffee and talking and teasing a bit…
I have titled these Vixen and Stag Bad Limericks from a Silly Sunday because that is a more accurate description than just Stag and Vixen Funny Limericks.
Each weekend, my lady’s got a routine,
She finds someone new for the scene,
They kiss and they touch,
She knows it’s too much,
But she makes me wait till the dawn’s early sheen.
She loves when I’m burning inside,
With longing I’m trying to hide,
She puts on a show,
Takes it nice, takes it slow,
Then she’s mine when the sun starts to rise.
My lady, she thinks it’s a fun game,
To fuel my desire into flame,
She’ll flirt and she’ll play,
With some guy on display,
Then laughs when I’m begging for the same.
She knows how to wind me up tight,
With teasing that lasts through the night,
She’ll wink with a grin,
As I’m itching to sin,
But she waits till I’m pleading outright.
My lady can’t say no to charm,
Good-looking guys on her real warm,
In the morning she’s tired and beat,
From head to her feet,
And wants me to kiss every harm.
She’s grateful I never complain,
And kiss all her sweet spots that feel pain,
She purrs with delight,
Each morning and night,
I’m the cure when she’s feeling the strain.
My lady looks hot in her lace,
With stockings and corsets in place,
I love the whole show,
But wish, don’t you know,
She’d dress up when it’s just me to chase.
She’s dolled up when friends are around,
In outfits that leave us all spellbound,
But when we’re alone,
It’s sweats she has shown,
Guess my buddies bring out her best gown!
Here I must comment that this particular limerick about how a Vixen wife may dress for play vs how she normally dresses for her Stag husband when it is just them probably hits home for 99% of all Stag and Vixen couples.
It’s not meant to be a negative. It is just how it is, and that is our groove. Yes, we sell bikinis and such, but our biggest jam is casual T-shirts for monogamish people. Many of them go great with sweats on a Sunday morning.
Alrighty, back to the Stag And Vixen Funny Limericks:
My lady’s got drive like a train,
With energy none can contain,
Alone, I’d be beat,
Knocked right off my feet,
So I call up my pals to sustain.
She’s wild and never says no,
Keeps going long after I’m slow,
Without some good mates,
To help share the weights,
I’d be worn out from head to my toe!
Like those? Go ahead and share them around or memorize them for your own goofy Sunday morning fun if you occasionally have mornings like I described.
There is just one more goofy limerick, but for this one you need to imagine the same scenario as originally described, but the Stag husband has been spitting out these bad limericks in jest for a good twenty minutes and then the Vixen wife finally comes back with her own.
I love my sweet husband, no doubt,
But his energy often runs out,
I’m fiery and bold,
He’s tired and old,
So his buddies help wear me right out.
I’m grateful when they join the play,
They help me unwind from the day,
Once they’ve had their fun,
And I’m finally done,
I get snuggled up to hubby and hit the hay!
The end of that one is the joke, but I guess it’s a bit of an inside joke. “What if I’m too tired and want to go right to sleep after?” is a question she poses to me basically every time. My response is always “NO, not allowed!”
Not even joking either, it isn’t allowed. You can look back at our final rules list when we first made our original rules to #11 which states I get to reclaim her within 1 hour of the end of any hotwifing or swinging-related event. The post about our original Hotwifing rules is HERE. It is no longer rule #11, but it’s a rule. We all need our rules.
We also all need shirts.
Need a cool T-shirt for your lazy Sunday after? Check out Where To Get Our Vixen Hotwife & Stag Shirts.