Hotwifing is a lifestyle choice that comes with a lot of prejudices and misunderstandings from those who aren’t involved in it.
That causes people who are into it to be pretty hush-hush about their hotwifing lifestyle.
In many cases, it could even cost a person their job or alienate friends and family to be outed.
The result is that hotwives have few people to talk to about their lives except their husbands. Those husbands have few people to talk to besides their wives.
It can seem to alienate us from other people. There are positive and negative things to having such a secret, but for this post, I’m not going to concentrate on the good aspects or cruddy aspects of having a secret like hotwifing, but instead on how people sometimes deal with it. A secret shared is seldom kept a secret, and people in general need to share. Sharing the hotwife secret usually becomes more needed psychologically for people as time goes on. The reason for that is it becomes part of our identity if it continues for a large portion of our lives.
We need to vent, to troubleshoot, to discuss, brag, and share. It is in our nature as human beings.
For a lucky few Sharing the hotwife secret won’t cause many waves. Maybe you have a small friend group who are open-minded, or maybe you don’t care what your friends and coworkers think of you.
Maybe you are retired or self-employed in a field where it won’t affect you if that secret is out.
Most are afraid of judgment not just from their close relatives, but even unimportant acquaintances.
The longer you are a hotwife the more experiences you’ll gain and in some instances wish to share. If you’re a Stag married to a Vixen the urge is huge from the start usually, but grows as time goes by because you want to brag and have pride about it all.
What to do?
The easiest way I’d say to vent, troubleshoot, discuss, brag, and share when it comes to your lifestyle is to do so in the forums, chats, and via messaging areas of the websites you most likely already belong to if you are in the hotwife lifestyle and don’t use vanilla apps.
I’m talking about sites like LifestyleLounge.com and SwingLifeStyle.com for example.
If you are unfamiliar with such sites, they are geared primarily toward people interested in the swinger lifestyle.
Many people are into hotwife activities on such sites and they are a good way to meet men who are comfortable with playing in an MFM situation or playing with a wife while the husband watches.
They also serve as places to just meet like-minded people in general. This makes such sites a safe place for sharing the hotwife secret and talking about your lifestyle choices in general.
Why I think these sites are the best place for such things is that you can screen who you are talking to a bit simply by how the profiles are set up.
Paid members are more serious about the lifestyle than some random nicknamed person on a Reddit forum. They are also more likely to be real. A forty-year-old blonde hotwife with a handsome Stag husband from LA on Reddit could in reality be an eighteen-year-old gamer boy who lives in Detroit.
You really can’t know on open forums who is who, or who is real. On these swinger lifestyle sites if you filter out the freebie accounts you’ll be doing pretty well. If that isn’t good enough you can look at verification and even in some cases read testimonials from other members of the sites who have met and most often played with the people.
One thing to remember though if using the forums on such sites is that your posts can be hunted out by potential playmates if you are using the sites for hookups. If you vent, troubleshoot, discuss, brag, and share on those forums the people you message privately with will be able to see what you’ve talked about on the forums or in the groups.
Basically, I’m hinting you should always behave in a way within those groups that you’d not worry about a potential playmate reading.
The next easiest way to go about sharing the hotwife secret is the same thing as the last, but without knowing for sure you’re talking to legit people. Sites like the previously mentioned Reddit have groups. There are also dedicated sites for hotwifing and cuckolding that are basically forums that you can find and join. For all sorts of kinks without judgment, there is FetLife. It is great for socializing.
These sites allow for sharing the hotwife secret and talking about your experiences in general, but you really can’t know for sure who you are talking to without a lot of checking.
That may not be an issue though for you. If you are just wishing to share in general, these sites work well. Take every comment with a grain of salt though because there will be a good chance you are talking to someone who is not what they claim.
Next we leave the online world and partake in real-life adventures.
Swinger lifestyle clubs and groups are a great way to meet like-minded people who you can feel comfortable with sharing the hotwife secret.
I’m not necessarily talking about just hanging out at the clubs or going to house parties. I’m talking about meeting people in general who you can verbally share things with while not worrying.
Many groups host bar takeovers, have meet and greets, and even have events like weekend campouts.
In such situations play is not so expected and in some cases forbidden. I used to go to a weekly hosted lunch meet and greet that a couple I knew organized. It was at different restaurants in different areas that were within about thirty minutes of their home. I attended this lunch meeting probably once a month, sometimes twice.
Basically, it consisted of grabbing lunch, having a beer or something similar, and chatting. They’d reserve the section for around fifty people and on average there were about twenty new people I’d never met before there each time.
I went to the luncheons not necessarily to find play partners, but just to have differing conversations, meet people, and network for other reasons.
I once even hired a girl for a sales position who I met at one of those luncheons.
Next on the list would be sex-positive groups and organizations. Some are big, some small, and pretty much all of them are based in major metro areas. If you’re in a small town this is less apt to be available to you than a swinger lifestyle club. An example of one of these organizations would be the Pan Eros Foundation. They put on shows, offer education, workshops, and many other things.
If you get involved with one of these groups you’ll meet all sorts of people. You must have an open mind, and you can expect the same in return.
This isn’t the way to meet other Vixens and Stags, nor anybody else specifically related to hotwifing, but you will meet a ton of people who won’t judge you negatively for your kinks and preferences.
All of the things mentioned above are relatively safe as far as keeping things hush-hush in your vanilla life goes, but nothing is 100% safe.
Moving outside of the relatively safe zone and into a bit more danger we have sharing the hotwife secret with the most trusted of your friends and family.
These are the people who’ve proven themselves trustworthy already. People who already hold a secret or two. It is best if you hold a few of theirs as well.
A personal opinion on who not to share with = Don’t pick gossips, nor people with drama-filled relationships. Don’t pick people who easily become envious or who express jealousy. Don’t pick people who would possibly want to join your escapades, but also would not face hardship if they were outed for it. Don’t pick family members who have ever thrown a tizzy and told secrets, or who gossip to you about other family members.
That’s just a personal list, opinions may vary.
If you do share with people in your vanilla life there is a high possibility you will be outed eventually. As I said at the beginning “A secret shared is seldom kept a secret.”
It’s time to pitch a shirt, and I don’t have one for this topic.
I’m not one for secrets of this type maybe that is why I’ve no shirts to match the topic. Such secrets eat at me, but then I am one of those people who don’t worry about what random acquaintances think of me and don’t want those who are close to me to like me only because I hide my true nature.
Instead of pitching you a shirt, I’ll send you to the Vixen Games Store where you can find lots of hotwife shirts, stag shirts, swinger lifestyle shirts, and other monogamish designs.
We have more original designs for Vixens and Stags than anybody in the world.
If you can’t find what you were looking for in our Vixen Games Designs Store, check out Where To Get Our Vixen Hotwife & Stag Shirts. You’ll find even more places to get our cool designs.