Let’s talk about hotwifing labels and slurs.
Hotwife is a label that seems to be a catch-all for all types of hotwifing but doesn’t take the husband into account much.
It designates that she is married to a man, thus a wife, but no common universal term exists for the husband of a hotwife.
No matter the style of hotwifing the hotwife partakes in, her husband is a part of the situation.
If in no other way besides his agreeing and in certain ways supporting her actions as a hotwife he is involved.
It is a consensual form of nonmonogamy.
Another issue with the term “Hotwife” is that it in no way lays out a framework for other people to understand what type of relationship dynamic you have with your spouse.
Dictionary.com defines it like this:
A hotwife is a married woman who has sexual relationships outside of her marriage, with the full knowledge and consent of her husband, who himself doesn’t have affairs. Hotwifing is the wife-sharing arrangement or act of carrying out such affairs.
Wictionary.org defines Hotwife like this…
Noun -hotwife (plural hotwives)
(slang) A married female swinger; a wife who has sex with men other than her husband, with the husband’s approval.
Coordinate term: hothusband
Verb – hotwife (third-person singular simple present hotwifes, present participle hotwifing, simple past and past participle hotwifed)
(slang) To participate in a hotwife sexual relationship.
You may have noticed the coordinate term “HotHusband” and thought that possibly meant a man married to a hotwife. It is not.
wiktionary.org defines a HotHusband this way: Noun – hothusband (plural hothusbands)
(slang) A husband who has sex with women other than his wife, with the wife’s approval. Coordinate term: hotwife.
Close to the opposite of what you were thinking if you thought a man married to a hotwife. It is the male equivalent of a hotwife.
So if you are a man married to a hotwife what is your status?
It all depends on how you as a couple deal with and participate in the lifestyle along with how you think about it. You could be a Wittol. You may be a Cuckold. Many people who are against consensual nonmonogamy and monogamish lifestyles, in general, will certainly consider you a cuckold. They will call you a cuck if not to your face, behind your back in a derogatory manner.
Maybe you are a cuck. Maybe that is where you get your big thrills and it enhances your marriage. They won’t care.
Maybe you aren’t into cuckolding at all though.
Maybe you are even at the other end of the spectrum in your relationship and sexual dynamics.
You hold an extremely dominant position and your hotwife is a submissive.
This is an example of how the term hotwife doesn’t give us much in the way of knowing the relationship dynamics. There is no good term for the husband of a hotwife in general.
Maybe we all should just start calling ourselves “Lucky Husbands.”
You may have been wondering why this one was titled hotwifing labels and slurs.
Some women have embraced the term slut and combined it with their status of being married resulting in “slutwife” or slut-wife. Originally this seems to have started as taking back a slur.
Being married and sleeping around or having other forms of sexual activity with people besides the husband is seen as cheating by many people even if they are aware the husband has given his wife a green light to do so. Having any sort of sexual relationship outside of a monogamous and married situation is considered taboo by most. They use the term slut when referring to these women as a slur.
The thing is, the word slut is a fitting label if not used as a slur. If you look the word up you will find Oxford Languages defines it as a woman who has many casual sexual partners. Merriam-Webster defines it as a promiscuous person: someone who has many sexual partners —usually used of a woman. Dictionary.com defines it as being Disparaging and Offensive. A person, especially a woman, who is sexually promiscuous.
In the same way that gay men pushed to take back the word Faggot and often fondly call themselves and their fellows fags we have women who are married and nonmonogamous taking back the word slut. They use the term almost as a badge of pride.
Married women who are in consensually nonmonogamous relationships feel that what they do and how they live is completely acceptable. They are acting within the bounds of their marriage and not breaking trust. They also have the support of their husbands so can act out and speak out easier in defense of the word in some ways than single women.
On the other hand, the fact that they are married and have sexual relationships with others is what annoys so many serial monogamists in the first place. Their actions are considered worse to those who dislike those actions than the same actions by a single woman would be.
There will always be people who will seem to hate others who don’t fall in line with whatever personal morality code they adhere to and what they consider to be the most desired societal norms. They will always use slurs.
Should you use the term slut-wife? Should you attempt to reclaim it as many gay, lesbian, and bisexual people did the word faggot throughout the 80’s and 90’s? Can the stigma be removed?
There is no clear answer. For some, it is empowering and liberating. To others, it is still painful and even triggering.
The word fag can and is still used as a slur. It is also used as a personal label. The sting is still there, but it stings less than it once did because it has been embraced by so many people. Quoting Mike Givens in an article on Freddie Magazine Online “Making faggot or fag commonplace within the colloquialisms used to describe LGBTQ2S+ people has gone a long way in reclaiming the meaning and removing a bit of the venom that has been injected into it for the last century.” The same can be said of queer but with more success.
I’m using those examples of words that are still problematic but are also being reclaimed.
If you are a woman who is a hotwife, or a swinger, or polyamorous and you are having sexual encounters with multiple people you are going to be labeled a slut. It will be in a derogatory manner. Some people just can’t let others live as they wish.
If you do decide to embrace the word, do it with pride. If your lifestyle is good for you and good for your relationship you should be able to own it and do it with joy.
Vixen-Games.Com – The Vixen and Stag dynamic explored.
That is our main focus here. Exploring the dynamic of Vixen and Stag relationships.
We are done with the slurs topic in our post about hotwifing labels and slurs.
Rarely used as a slur, a Vixen is one of the few labels a hotwife can have that automatically labels her husband as well. This is because a Vixen Hotwife is a specific type of hotwife in a specific type of relationship. We are stepping away from generic labels.
According to Vixen-Games.Com – (That is Us) Vixen Definition
Vix·en
noun
1. a female fox.
2. INFORMAL
a spirited or fierce woman, especially one seen as sexually attractive.
“an outrageous feisty vixen”
3. INFORMAL
a married woman who has sexual relationships outside of her marriage,
with the full knowledge and encouragement of her husband in a manner that brings pleasure to all parties involved.
All Vixen Hotwives are married to Stag husbands. Without their Stag they can’t be a Vixen. Unlike the more generic term “hotwife,” which doesn’t give even a slight hint at what sort of dynamic exists between the husband and wife, being a Vixen tells a lot about the relationship dynamic.
Does it tell all? Not even close, but it does tell a lot.
Stags and Vixens are team players. Stags always have an active role in all activities. Those roles may differ at times, but the Stag is part of them.
Neither the Vixen nor the Stag are in an overall submissive or dominant role within their relationship or in how they participate in the lifestyle.
Stags are not into or seeking humiliation like in a cuckolding situation, nor do they wish to dominate their wives and have them act in a slave-like or sex doll-like manner.
Vixens use their play to turn on their Stags.
Stags derive pleasure from their Vixens’ play.
Many Stags and Vixens are very similar to couples in the swinging lifestyle, but with the primary focus being on the Vixen when it comes to sexual activity with others.
Stags are gatekeepers to their Vixens.
I’m obviously not going to pitch you a Vixen Games Tee about Hotwifing labels and slurs.
If you are here though I am sure there is one thing we can all agree on. We enjoy hotwives.
So here is a cool picture of a hoodie that says Enjoy HotWives.
You can get The Enjoy HotWives Hoodie, embroidered hat, or T-shirt HERE – The Enjoy HotWives T-Shirt by Vixen Games Designs.
I hope you enjoyed my piece on Hotwifing labels and slurs. In many cases, it is all about context.
A word can mean many things depending on when and how it is used. Let’s not use them as slurs.