It doesn’t matter whether you have decided you want to try the swinging lifestyle out or be a hotwife. You will most likely end up on a swinger lifestyle site if you do either eventually.
You will be new to it, learning how to navigate it, and you’ll most likely be picky about first meetups if you are like most people just starting. Another thing you’ll possibly be doing is Burning Bridges On Swinger Sites when you shouldn’t be.
When you first make a profile on a swinger site your profile will pop up as new for a short time on most sites for people in your area. This will get you a bit of extra attention.
As a couple looking for couples, you’ll probably get a few “Hey there, we are so and so, we’d love to meet” type messages from couples who have been on the sites for a long time. I hate to use the term, but you are at that moment “fresh meat.”
All the regulars on the site who live near each other have probably met each other either through the site you are on, a different one, or through house parties, meet and greets, or clubs.
If they haven’t it is possibly on purpose because of trying to maintain anonymity or something similar.
I should point out here that just because they have met, doesn’t mean they have played together.
You will also most likely get a few other newbies writing because they may feel intimidated by others. They see another newbie couple and think “Oh, they are new too.”
You may seem less scary and more likely to go slowly with them if that is their worry.
There will be single guys writing you. They will do this even if you say “No single guys” on your profile. If you are welcoming to single guys you will get more, and if you mention hotwifing on your profile you’ll be flooded with messages.
Most of these guys will be people you’d not want to meet. They will even sometimes be the stereotype of online fools. They will send you a bad dick pic and a “hi” or some cut-and-paste thing they sent to twenty other people that day.
If you are in a highly populated area you may even have all that happen before you have even completed your profile.
Don’t feel overwhelmed, and don’t worry about speedy replies. Do go through them and reply to the couples who were nice and sent good messages. A simple thanks, but no thanks with some kind words and a note about just getting your profile together and checking things out will do for those you aren’t interested in.
Simply ignoring them could be the beginning of burning bridges on swinger sites.
They will become people who reached out, can see their message was opened, and got no reply. They won’t write again most likely.
If you reply rudely or in a manner that seems like you think they aren’t up to your standards they may feel bad.
Saying “No” is fine, everyone wants different things, and you’ll usually get more “no” answers than anything in swinging. You’ll give more no answers as well. It is all about how you do it. Be nice and don’t burn bridges.
There are lots of reasons you don’t want to be burning bridges on swinger sites, but a couple of them are extremely important if you end up in the lifestyle long-term.
The first big reason is that you won’t be a newbie forever. As a newbie, you don’t know what you want yet or with whom. Your ideas are based on fantasy and your imagination may not mesh up with what you end up wanting after you’ve experimented a bit.
The people you are saying “No way” to maybe the people you wish to contact six months or a year down the road.
You’ll most likely be looking for completely different things than the ones you were looking for when you started. You may even be avoiding the things you originally sought out. You just don’t know yet.
The second big reason you don’t want to be burning bridges on swinger sites right out of the gate is that you don’t have a clue how involved in swinging these people you are dealing with are.
Swinging at its heart is a social activity once you’ve jumped into playing a few times.
People host parties, arrange luncheons, organize bar takeovers, and even set up camping events.
It isn’t all about sex. It isn’t even all about friends with benefits. It is more like social networking. People know each other and they give opinions.
Like all social grouping there exist cliques. Swinging in most areas is extremely cliquish.
Most of it all is secret and by invitation. You could be on the top five swinger lifestyle sites in your area and a regular at the most popular club and not hear about a bar and hotel takeover happening within a mile of your home with an attendance of a few hundred. You’d most likely have people you know going if you’d been playing a while. It only takes one person in that clique hosting the event to say “nope” and you’ll never get an invite.
That “nope” could be because you left them on read forever. That “nope” could be because you responded negatively in a rude manner. That “nope” could be because three years earlier when you first were checking things out you spent the first month burning bridges on swinger sites.
Just be nice and polite.
You don’t have a new profile for very long. New becomes old quickly on the internet. The garage of messages you get as “new meat” will go away quickly. Use it to your advantage.
just changing sites won’t help it much either. You’ll find many people maintain accounts at multiple sites. You’ll also find some people’s revolve accounts. They may have an account on SwingLifeStyle.com for a few months, then switch over to LifestyleLounge.com for a few months.
You will also find that those local cliques for parties and other get-togethers are the same ones no matter what site you are on.
The swinger lifestyle is a social activity as much as anything else. Always keep that part in mind.
So ends another lesson brought to you by Hotwife University. I know this article seemed very swinger lifestyle-focused, but it was aimed at anybody first starting out with those sites. They are rather well suited for hotwifing.
Monogamish lifestyle people are a small niche. There are millions of us, but in today’s marketplace millions don’t count for much. With multiple websites and apps competing for a stake in that market, the numbers just don’t add up enough for each to get a nice slice of the pie.
The reason I mention this is because, without a high enough revenue to end up with some extra, these sites can’t afford good design updates regularly. They keep things running smoothly for the most part, but all of the more known and used swinger lifestyle sites now seem a bit dated. A lot dated actually. Dated or not, don’t burn your bridges on them when you start.
Happy Hotwifing!
For my end-of-post shirt pitch, I bring you our Married with Benefits upside-down fancy pineapple T-shirt. Swinger or hotwife, you are married with benefits.
You can get this design on a shirt (as shown) or on a hoodie by going HERE -Married with benefits upside down fancy pineapple T-shirt.
You may also enjoy our post on Dealing With Judgy Swingers when you are in a Stag and Vixen relationship.